


These Fragile Hearts

by GoldenDaydreams



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, BFF Eskel and Yennefer, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gyms, Happy Ending, Just Best Friends Raising A Kid Together, Kidnapping, M/M, Mutual Pining, Past Abuse, Platonic Relationships, Previous Abusive Relationships, The Law of Surprise (The Witcher), Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, missing child
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-14 16:48:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29049444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoldenDaydreams/pseuds/GoldenDaydreams
Summary: In a modern world, witcher Eskel and his best friend, the sorceress Yennefer, acquire a child through the law of surprise.Jaskier, a man with his life in shambles after his ex kidnapped their child, moves across the country to start over.Unbeknownst to them, the child is one and the same, and their worlds are about to collide.
Relationships: Eskel & Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Eskel/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 72
Kudos: 74





	1. Chapter 1

FIVE YEARS EARLIER

Eskel turned off the motorcycle, and removed his helmet. No good call came in at two in the morning. His best friend and roommate, Yennefer, was as steady as they came. To hear her panicking, begging him to hurry to her location put the fear of Melitele in him. 

She stood at the mouth of an alleyway, all in one piece. Her dark hair whipped around her face in the cold wind, and she motioned him closer. He looked her over again once he’d crossed the street, he still didn’t see any injuries, but she was shivering. 

“Where is your coat?” He pulled off his own leather jacket and draped it over her shoulders. 

She didn’t explain herself, just grabbed his hand and dragged him into the alley. 

The streetlights behind them gave him just enough light to see. A kneeling figure turned to them when they got close. Yennefer’s friend, Chireadan, an elven healer. Bundled in Yennefer’s designer coat, a baby. 

“The cut on his arm is minor, but needs to be washed,” Chireadan said. “He's cold.” 

Yennefer squeezed Eskel’s hand. “If _I_ found this child, I would have to report him to the Brotherhood, and if no parent or guardian is found they would live their lives in debt to Aratuza. They’d never truly be free.” 

“Yen—”

“If you claim law of surprise—”

“Yenna, no.” 

“Witcher schools are no more. The child won’t go through what you went through! We could raise him, give him the childhood neither one of us received. Please, you know Stregobor will never let me be a mother.” 

Eskel muttered a curse. 

“I know I’m putting this on you suddenly but I can’t keep the child a secret forever. We need to have him checked at a hospital, and the police will be involved, and the fact that I found him puts him in the Brotherhood’s hands should a parent not be found.” 

Yennefer spoke little of her time spent at Aratuza, and not a word of it was good. Despite all of her power now, she still looked scared even speaking of it, and certainly looked afraid of the thought of sending the poor defenseless child there. 

Eskel looked down at the baby, maybe all of eight or nine months old. So small, thin blonde hair, big blue eyes, a onesie that looked expensive—surely something nefarious happened, a kidnapping, or carjacking where they discovered a child in the back and abandoned him. The parent or parents would be found, Eskel was sure of it. Until then, Eskel crouched down, and Chireadan passed the bundle to him.

Eskel held the baby to his chest, in awe of the tiny human who raised a defiant fist into the air, escaping the wool coat. He looked over at Yennefer. “I invoke the law of surprise.” 

She smiled with tears in her eyes, put her hand on his shoulder and mouthed _‘thank you.’_

°°°  
PRESENT DAY

The cafe overlooked the ocean. There were an abundance of regulars, and perhaps even more tourists. Jaskier worked afternoon-nights mostly. It allowed for him to drink his nights away and avoid the morning hours all together. He knew his life was in shambles, but didn’t have any desire or drive left to fix it. He relied on the fact that his best friend, Priscilla, owned the cafe and made sure he had enough hours to get by.

She usually opened in the mornings if she came in at all, which made the fact that she had worked the whole evening with him a touch odd. They closed up together, but instead of finishing with the counters, she made a couple of fancy drinks, and plated a couple of scones. With perfect balance, she took her goods to a table, and stared at him until he gave up sweeping and joined her. 

“You know I love you,” she said. 

He groaned. “Oh fuck, is this an intervention?” 

She kicked him in the shin, and he hissed out a breath. “I have kept you employed here for the past four years. I kept you employed on the days you couldn’t get out of bed because of the depression, or the alcohol, or because you’d ended up in the bed of someone a city over. I understand your grief—”

Jaskier glared into the iced drink she’d made him. She didn’t understand, she couldn’t, not the loss, not the betrayal. Even he couldn’t look too closely at the damaged pieces of his heart, he might decide they just weren’t enough to keep going. 

“Jaskier, look at me.”

He looked up, glared at her. 

“You’re wasting away here. I thought I was helping but it’s been four years and… maybe I’m not, maybe I’m just enabling you to wallow forever in your pain. I don’t want this for you, I want you to find happiness again.” Pricilla reached into her pocket and slid a cheque across the table. “That’s a month of your wages. I’m firing you—”

“Pris—”

“Find what pleases you, Jaskier. Find love, find music again, find something that makes you more than the shell of my best friend.” 

It hurt. A new pain, no less sharp. He could barely breathe through it, her hands over his own were no comfort. He pulled away, left the cheque on the table, and walked out, ignoring her calling his name. 

°°°

As a matter of pride, Jaskier didn’t often dip into the money his parents left in an account for him. They had money. They constantly put money there for him, birthdays and Christmases, mostly forgotten things, like the money would soothe the fact that his parents really didn’t care all that much about being parents. 

As a child, he’d been dressed in nice clothes, paraded around, his parents friends noting how cute, what a darling, and then he’d been tucked away with a nanny while his parents enjoyed the parties and banquets. Later, he’d just been kept out of sight, no longer that precious little child to be cooed over. His musical abilities were nothing compared to the neurosurgeons, and astrophysicist children of their colleagues. 

Jaskier never quite measured up to their expectations, not that they’d kept him involved in their lives enough for him to even understand what their expectations were in the first place. 

In desperation, he pulled from the account. His parents wouldn’t even notice. He paid to cut out of his lease early. He spent three days in a bottle while he packed and searched for a new apartment or condo. The pictures of one looked good, another state, a new city, a fresh start. He waited until morning, when he was sober to call. The landlady sounded sweet, a little young, and eager to fill the vacancy. 

He arrived a week later and realized why. “Fuck me,” he muttered staring at the building as the taxi driver unloaded his three suitcases, and guitar. The building looked like a walking meth dealer advertisement. He heard police sirens going off in the distance. After tipping the taxi driver, he lugged his bags in the front door, and found a woman in a chair by the metal wall of mailboxes. 

“Hi! You must be Jaskier!”

“I am.”

“Cerys,” she said, pointing to her chest. “We talked on the phone.”

“Nice to meet you.” He looked around the small lobby that seemed to be under renovations. 

“I know it’s still a bit of a mess, but you should have seen it when I inherited it, what a disaster. I’ve been working my way through the building. My girlfriend pointed out the lobby could use work, which considering she’s blind really says something, but it _is_ the first thing that people see.” Cerys pushed her long red braid over her shoulder. “Here, let me give you a hand.” She took one of his bags from him, and shouldered it. “You’re on the third floor. The unit is newly renovated. Unfortunately there was a delay on getting the stove in, it was supposed to arrive yesterday, but they’ve pushed delivery until tomorrow. Real sorry about that, I’ll cut a couple hundred off your first month's rent for the trouble.” 

She pressed the up button for the elevator, and Jaskier was grateful that it wasn’t a walk-up. The elevator had an old enough style that Jaskier worried about it actually getting him to the right floor, especially at the lurch it gave when it rattled into motion. “I know it sounds bad,” she said, and he wondered if his concern showed on his face. “But it was recently serviced, everything in working order. I live on the fifth floor, so you can bet I want this thing to work. You ever carry groceries up five flights? It’s not ideal.” 

The doors opened, and he rushed out. Cerys didn’t seem bothered, and led him down the hall. The door to 3A was wide open, and he peeked in to see it was currently in the middle of a renovation. She stopped at 3B and unlocked the door. “This is you.” She opened the door and held it for him. 

Some of the original features had been preserved. It smelled faintly of fresh paint, and he liked the soft grey. The galley kitchen was bigger than his previous apartment, and had more storage—he’d have to repurchase cookware since he hadn’t bothered with shipping his across the country. He put his bags down in the living room, a wide open space with new wood floors. Maybe he’d just buy one beanbag, it wasn’t like he would be having anyone over. The two bedrooms would easily fit any furniture he decided to buy, and the closets were easily three times the size as the one he was used to. 

“This place is bigger than I expected.”

“Benefits of older buildings. Downfall is electrical.” Cerys then put up her hands. “Which I recently had rewired, it was a nightmare and cost me a small fortune.” 

“This is… great.” 

“Well, I’ll leave you to get settled.” She looked at his bags. “Is this everything?” 

“It would have cost more to ship my stuff than to just buy new things. I’ll be fine.” 

She frowned. “The previous tenant in 3C left a pullout couch behind when they moved. I haven’t gotten around to getting rid of it yet. We could move it in here, might serve you at least until you find something better.” 

He didn’t like the idea of sleeping on the floor. He also didn’t like the idea of sleeping on the mystery couch, but it was the lesser evil. “Sure, thanks.” 

He hadn’t expected her to help him move it, but they spent an hour maneuvering the bulky couch into his unit. They were both panting when they were done. She wiped some sweat from her brow. “Well, I’ll leave you to get settled. I have your number and I’ll call when the stove arrives tomorrow. If you need anything, I’m in 5A.” 

“Thanks.” 

“No problem,” she said in an airy way, as if the labour really hadn’t been a bother to her. She dropped his key in his hand, and left. 

The silence was startling. He took in the exposed brick wall but new windows, an old design on the ceiling but new floors, new appliances, but old cupboards. A blend of the old and new. He liked it. A fresh start, a clean slate. 

He pulled his cellphone from his pocket, and messaged Priscilla one line. 

_You were right._


	2. Chapter 2

The couch had been comfortable enough to sleep on, but uncomfortable enough that Jaskier woke at six am and immediately started looking at frames and mattresses that could be delivered within the day. The second bedroom could be an office and music room. He added a desk to the list of things he needed to acquire, and thanked modern technology for putting everything at his fingertips. 

Spiraling into online shops, the virtual cart filled up quickly with things he didn’t really need. Saved from himself by a call from Cerys who informed him the stove was out for delivery and would be arriving within the hour. 

With that in mind, he took a shower. The hot water felt good on his aching shoulder. The sooner he got a proper mattress the better. With a towel around his waist, he walked through the apartment, also noting that he really should get blinds or drapes for the large windows. 

The clothes in his suitcase were a little wrinkled, but he put together a plain outfit. He didn’t feel like standing out, he didn’t crave the attention he once had. The loud shirts with their beautiful fabrics and ostentatious designs felt like they belonged to a different man. 

Maybe they did. Jaskier didn’t feel much like the person he had been four years ago. Since the suitcase was open anyway, he spent the rest of the morning hanging his clothes in the closet. The place looked a little more lived in with two of the three suitcases dealt with. 

The third he laid in the closet with the utmost care, but he didn’t dare open it. 

Three quick knocks on the door startled him. He shut the closet door, and walked through the apartment to let Cerys and the delivery men in. 

Cerys had a toolbelt on her hips, a coffee in hand and smelled of sawdust. “How did you sleep?” she asked him, making conversation while the stove was maneuvered into place. 

“Pretty good all things considered. Hopefully I’ll have a bed delivered soon, but the couch isn’t the worst thing I’ve ever slept on.” He looked longingly at the coffee in her hand. “Where did you get that?” 

“The Fix, it’s about a block away,” she said pointing in the direction. Her eyes went a little dreamy. “They have fantastic baked goods too.” 

It wasn’t ideal to fall back into old habits, settling into the familiar comfort of being a barista, but he also needed a steady income. While his parents money was always available, he hated to use it. “Do you know if they’re hiring?” 

“Honestly, I don’t pay attention to much until I have coffee in my system,” Cerys admitted with a shrug. 

Something to look into. He could use a coffee for himself at any rate, and needed to pick up groceries too. Maybe a gym membership, something to get him moving again. He needed to reinstill some good habits rather than the terrible ones of binge drinking, and the dangerously casual sex he’d fallen into over the past few years. 

“Is there a gym nearby?” 

“As a matter of fact there is,” Cerys said, but was then cut off by the delivery men who had her check the work before she signed off on the sheet. As they left, she returned to him. “About the gym, my brother owns one, it’s down the street and around the corner. Our father had a few properties in this neighbourhood, we inherited them recently.” 

He grimaced. “I’m sorry for your loss.” 

“Thanks.” She looked down at her coffee, sipped it, and he stayed quiet while she took a few deep breaths. “Hjalmar got the gym. I got this place. Lucky for him, the gym is in much better shape than this.” She pulled a pad of paper and pen from her tool belt, and flipped past a page of measurements. She jotted down an address, and a name. “Rates are a little cheaper than the bigger gyms, it isn’t fancy, but it’s close.” 

He nodded and took the paper. “Thanks.” 

°°°

It had been a few years since he’d been to a gym. Walking in left him riddled with nerves. Even though no one paid him any mind, he felt as if everyone was watching, judging. Cerys’ brother, Hjalmar wasn’t in, but a perfectly nice woman got him signed up, and took him on a little tour he really didn’t need. He thanked her, got changed, and locked his bag up in a locker. 

During his stretch, he took a look around. Mirrors, exposed brick, large windows for natural light. The machines looked like they’d been purchased at different times, and from different manufacturers, no cohesiveness to them at all. Most were black and grey, but one of the ellipticals was a hot pink eyesore. 

From stretching he moved onto some light cardio. The machines faced the rows of televisions on the wall with closed captioning on. It seemed wildly unfair to be on a treadmill while the Food Network played a baking competition show. He salivated over over the cherry tarts the contestants were making. 

After his machine went through the two minute cooldown phase, he moved onto weights. Music blasted in his ears as he loaded the leg press. 

He used to press nearly his own bodyweight back when he’d been going to the gym regularly. Considering he hadn’t been in years he cut off fifty from what he’d once been used to. 

The angle of the seat always felt a little weird, as did placing his feet on the metal and trusting his body to keep the weight from crushing him. 

He once saw a video of a man who over extended his knees, locking them while pressing too much. Jaskier’s stomach still lurched even thinking about it. 

Calculating the new weight, he turned the bar to allow the weight to come down with confidence. Immediately, he realized he’d fucked up. It was too much, and he’d ended up with his legs folded too close to his chest even as he tried with all his might to push it away. 

Priscilla had said that drinking his calories would catch up to him. Fuck! How many things would she be right about?

Surely red faced, and sweating, he huffed out a groan as he pushed with all his might. Barely able to push it up a half inch, he couldn’t turn the stop into place. 

The weight lessened, and he realized there was a hulking man beside the machine, hands on the bar holding the weights and pushing it away from Jaskier’s body. Even embarrassment couldn’t distract him from the muscular thighs on display. The moment his legs straightened, Jaskier twisted the stop bar into place. Panting, he pulled out his earbuds. 

“Are you alright?” The man asked. _Fuck._ Tall, handsome, golden eyes, long dark hair, scars on the side of his face, a few more on arms that were as big as Jaskier’s head. 

“I’m fine, thanks to you,” Jaskier said. “I guess I’m more out of shape than I thought.” 

The man looked at the weights on either side, then started to take off some of the heavy plates. Jaskier couldn’t help but stare at the way his back muscles moved under the tight shirt as he put the plates away. 

The man checked the weight, half of what Jaskier had loaded it with. “Did you want to try again? I’ll spot you.” 

“I don’t want to be a bother,” Jaskier said, ready to pack up and go home, burning with humiliation. 

The man rubbed the back of his neck, his shoulders curving in a little, like he was trying to make himself seem smaller. “It’s no bother.” 

Jaskier could imagine a man of his size intimidating people without meaning to, and he looked so earnest. Jaskier had gone to the gym to work out, to get back into the swing of things, to make a _real_ attempt at putting his life back together. One little hiccup would not send him running. “Well, if you’re sure.” 

The man smiled, the scarring that went through the left side of his face kept that side a little less mobile, thus leaving him with a crooked grin that Jaskier found endlessly endearing. 

Jaskier did the first rep, already more comfortable with the weight. The man’s eyes stayed focussed on Jaskier’s knees, ready to take the weight on should he falter. Jaskier counted each of his reps softly making sure he never over extended, nor let his legs pull in too close. At the count of fifteen, he turned the stop into place. 

Success! He let his legs drop, they trembled a little, unused to much beyond an eight hour shift at Priscilla’s coffee shop. 

He looked up at the man, and realized not just his fitness, but his social life had crumbled too. How rude of him not to have introduced himself yet. “I’m Jaskier.”

“Eskel.” He rolled his shoulders a little. “I haven’t seen you around here before, you must be new.” 

“Just signed up today.” He gestured to the weights stacked nearby that had once been on the press. “I’m afraid it’s been a few years since I’ve been to the gym. Tried to jump back in where I left off.” 

Eskel grimaced. “Not the best choice.”

Jaskier laughed. “No, no, learned my lesson on that one. I can already tell I’ll be feeling this for days to come.” 

Instead of continuing with the leg press, he wiped it down, and moved onto working his arms with Eskel keeping an eye on the weights he chose. Jaskier couldn’t help but stare as Eskel did bicep curls, but did manage not to drool, and chalked that up as a wild success. 

He hadn’t been in a relationship since—nope, not thinking about that. 

Sex was one of his favourite distractions, it made him feel good, alive, even if it was short lived. He turned away from Eskel, watching his own form in the mirror as he worked through his set. He was doing this to turn over a new leaf, to put back together the remaining pieces of his life. The allure of old habits would not ensnare him. 

By the end of the workout, Jaskier’s legs were trembling and his shoulders ached. He knew he’d feel the workout for days. His shirt was soaked with sweat and he desperately desired a shower, his mind wandered to the thought of the shower stalls, of Eskel, and—no, no, no. Clean slate, clean slate.

Even though Eskel had clearly been working out before Jaskier got there, he continued as Jaskier called it a day. 

“I guess I’ll see you around,” Jaskier said, wondering if he sounded a little too hopeful.

Eskel pulled a bar down, the full weight of the machine rising, and Jaskier watched Eskel’s back muscles move under his sweat damp shirt. “Yeah, I’ll see you.” Eskel flashed him a grin. “Have a good afternoon, Jaskier.”

“Uh, thanks, you too.” He walked off toward the locker room with as much dignity as his wet noodle legs would allow. He needed a cool shower, for more reason than to just wash away the sweat. 


	3. Chapter 3

Eskel had his hands in the water when the door opened, he listened for danger. “I’m home,” Yennefer announced, putting Eskel’s nerves at ease. His guard fell as he returned to his task of washing the dishes. 

“Mama!” Their son shrieked. Eskel listened to the the running footsteps of the five year old, and Yennefer’s laughter. 

The decision they’d made one night had changed both their lives forever. Eskel claimed law of surprise for the abandoned child. More than a month went on before he officially became theirs when no parent could be found. The two remained platonic best friends who raised their son together, no child safer between a witcher and a sorceress. 

He remembered the early days, they’d struggled to work out their schedules, rework their entire lives around a baby neither quite knew what to do with. They’d both read books, and watched videos, listened to podcasts about parenting. Eskel had even once called his brother, Geralt, for advice on diapers since he too had a child surprise. 

'How would I know? Ciri was eight when we met.' Had been the response Eskel had received, and yeah, he should have really figured that, but it had been three am, Yennefer had been out of town, and he was dealing with a diaper blowout. 

Somehow, there were parts of parenting that made gutting monsters look like the easier job. 

They’d gotten better at it over the years. 

He looked over to the doorway to see Yennefer with Aleks on her hip. “I don’t know if you ate, but left you a plate,” Eskel said. 

Yennefer kissed his cheek, then addressed Aleks. “What do you think, was it good?” 

“Yum!” Aleks agreed. “And we had ice cream!” 

Eskel frowned. It had been the last of Yennefer’s expensive double chocolate. 

“Really?” Yennefer drawled out the word, and Eskel shot her a smile. She glared at him, but it was softened by the curve of her lips. “You’re lucky I love you, or I’d turn you to a toad.” 

“No, a worm!” Aleks said. 

“Kid, who’s team are you on?” Eskel asked. 

Aleks laughed. “Worms are wiggly.” He displayed it by wiggling until Yennefer put him down, he ran off into the living room. Eskel heard some of the building blocks come falling down. 

“How was your day?” Yennefer asked, putting the plate of pasta into the microwave.

“Fine, same as usual.” They had a routine. Yennefer always got up early to do the mornings with Aleks, breakfast, some play, then take him to school. Eskel got up mid-day, did his workout, picked Aleks up from school, got dinner ready, spent a bit of time with his little family before he went out to hunt wherever he was dispatched for the evening. He’d come home in the early morning hours, doing his best not to wake anyone up. 

“Come on, give me some kind of exciting detail,” Yennefer said, tapping her long navy blue nails on the counter. 

“Aleks’ teacher says he’s doing really good in math. He needs a bit more help learning to tie his shoes though.” 

“We’ll work on it,” Yennefer said. The microwave beeped, and she pulled her dinner out. 

Eskel thought about telling her about Jaskier, but it was a one off interaction with a man who might not even return to the gym. They’d been friendly, but maybe Jaskier would realize just what Eskel was and not want to talk anymore. It would hardly be the first time. “What about your day?” He put the last plate in the dry rack. 

“Full of long meetings only remarkable for how boring they managed to be,” she replied. 

He followed her to the dining table so she wouldn’t have to eat alone. From there they had a clear sight line to the living room where Aleks was building a tower with his blocks, and then ramming through it with his large toy dinosaur. 

“Aleks, what ever are we going to do tonight?” Yennefer asked. 

The boy walked over, clutching his dinosaur. “We could play.”

“Play what?”

“Um… Dinosaurs. Or we could play hide and seek. Or tag.” 

“No tag in the house, and it’s no fun with only two,” Yennefer said, twirling noodles around her fork. 

Aleks nodded. His eyes widened. “Oh! Race cars!” 

“I had to repaint the trim last time,” Eskel said. Aleks was a little too young to be driving remote controlled cars with any amount of skill. 

The alarm on Eskel’s watch chimed, and he turned it off. “I need to get ready for work.” 

“No,” Aleks whined. “Stay!”

“You know I can’t.” Eskel’s heart always broke a little upon the request that he stay, shattering from the whining, and pouting, and on some nights, crying. 

“Ooh, we could paint,” Yennefer said, drawing out the words for maximum effect. Eskel knew she was doing her best to avoid a breakdown situation. 

Aleks loved painting, and it was a good plan to keep him excited about something. “Yes! Can we really?” 

Yennefer wiped some sauce from her lip. “Sure we can, what are you going to paint?” 

“A dinosaur!” 

“Naturally,” she replied with a smirk. 

Eskel left the table mostly unnoticed. He dressed, the clothing well made and moved easily, created for function and protection over fashion. 

He punched in the code to the closet safe. It had been a massive expense for the house, but he and Yennefer agreed that his weapons, oils, potions, and decoctions, as well as her potions and alchemical supplies needed to be kept securely away from their curious child. 

He checked his tablet. Police had put out a contract for a witcher as there were reports of missing people in the eastern part of the city, bodies mutilated far beyond what humans could reasonably do. A few reports of strange noises in the night. He accepted the job, waited for confirmation as he geared up. 

Ready to go, the tablet displayed his contacts name. He made a mental note of it, walked out and locked up the heavy door making sure to wait until the heavy locks clicked into place. 

He walked out to find that Yennefer had finished her dinner, and now the table was covered in newspaper. Paints were already spread out over the table. Yennefer draped one of Eskel’s old shirts that had also been in the craft box over Aleks’ head. There were old paint marks on as the shirt had been put through many a craft night before. Yennefer pulled a second from the box, and pulled it over her head. It looked odd on her with how done up her hair was, and her professional creased pants, her suit jacket abandoned over the couch where it would be safe. 

“You’re going?” Aleks pouted, looking up at him. 

Eskel crouched down. “I have to go to work.” 

“To get the monsters?” 

“Yeah.” 

Aleks sighed. “Okay.” 

“Have fun with Mom.” Eskel kissed Aleks’ forehead. “Be good.”

“I always am!” He crashed into Eskel’s chest, holding on tight. Eskel hugged back, let the child hold on for half a minute before he had no choice but to pull away. “No, don’t go.”

“He has to.” Yennefer stood behind Aleks, brushed some of his hair from his face. Every year it seemed to get a little bit darker, but it was still blonde, just darker than those fine golden hairs of infancy. “Come on now, let’s paint Dad a nice picture, hm?” 

“I do need a new picture for my wall,” Eskel said. He did have a wall of framed art from his son, he rotated the pictures as new ones were given. 

Aleks nodded, still not looking happy, but he climbed upon to the chair. Yennefer gave him a smile. “I’ve got it. Go. Be safe.” 

Eskel smirked. “Always am.” 

Yennefer shooed him with her hands, and settled at the table beside their son. It was a good mental picture to leave with. 

The hunt was simple, straight forward. A night well spent, and a nice bounty collected. No injuries, always a good thing. He returned home in the early morning, just as the sun touched the horizon and coloured it gold. Conscious of those sleeping in the house, he moved quietly, and secured all of his hunting gear back within the safe. 

He stopped in the hall on the way to the shower, and pushed open the door to Aleks’s room. His son had several stuffed animals tucked under the blankets with him. Assured that everything was as it should be, he took a quick shower, dressed comfortably, and crashed into bed. 

°°°

The next time Eskel saw Jaskier at the gym, he was lifting much lighter and with better form. Eskel greeted him.

Jaskier’s smile lit up his whole face. “Hello.” 

“You’re cheery today,” Eskel said, stretching out. He could feel some of his muscles protesting more from the hunt than his workouts. 

“I got a job offer today. It isn’t much, or anything special, but it’s just… it’s nice to have a job secured after moving across the country.” 

“Congrats.” Eskel rolled his shoulders. “Where are you working? I mean, if you don’t mind my asking.” 

“The Fix, it’s a coffee shop,” Jaskier shrugged. “A job’s a job, right?” 

Eskel didn’t so much have a job as a purpose given to him that he had little choice in, but he nodded as if he understood. 

“What do you do?” 

Eskel froze mid-stretch for a few seconds before he eased out of it. If the eyes didn’t give it away, usually the scars did. “I’m a witcher.” 

That got Jaskier to pause. He set down his weights, and then he really looked at Eskel, not just making eye contact in the mirror. “Never met a witcher before. Thank you.” 

“What?”

“For what you do.” Jaskier sighed. “The university I went to, I saw… I don’t know, something in the dark, and that… that whatever it was killed two students before a witcher killed it. It could have been me. I never got to thank that witcher, but I can’t imagine it’s an easy job. Seems a pretty thankless one too since so many people want to be assholes to witchers and to… to magic users.” 

Eskel noted Jaskier didn’t smell distressed or afraid when he spoke of witchers, but his scent soured at the mention of magic users. Eskel wouldn’t pry, he knew people were weirded out by the enhanced senses of witchers as it was, no need to advertise it. He shrugged, unsure what to do with the gratitude. “It’s my job.” 

“Do you enjoy it?” 

Did he? No one had ever asked him before. The adrenaline of battle, the focus, the danger, the hunt, could he realistically do anything else? “I guess?”

“Did you ever have a normal job, like did you work at a fast food place as a teenager and have to explain to people the ice cream machine is still broken?” 

Eskel laughed. “That is oddly specific.”

“That tells me everything I need to know,” Jaskier replied. He picked up his water bottle and took small sips. 

“My teenage years were spent training. I was part of the last class before The Fall.” 

“I heard about that.” Jaskier paled. “I can’t imagine.” 

Eskel had already graduated, dispatched to the city of their choosing, he’d just heard about it the next morning. The humans with their intolerance, their guns. Swords and potions can’t protect someone from bullets. There had been a few people there he’d still known, kids years younger than him, a few of the teachers. 

Over two hundred people had been in Kaer Morhen that day, and less than half of them survived it.

The ability to make new witchers was lost. 

The Order recently started to argue over trying to recreate the process, versus training for monster hunting without the enhancements. The whole thing made Eskel feel sick. If they ever came to a conclusion, they could still pull Aleks into the fold. One night he’d brought the concern to Yennefer, unable to sleep with the weight on his chest. 

“We’ll take him and run,” she’d said. 

“Run?”

“I’m one of the most powerful sorceresses in the world. Eskel, they will take our son from my cold dead hands.” She’d run her hand down his face. “How about Bora Bora?” 

And that had been that. 

“I’m sorry,” Jaskier said. “I didn’t mean to bring up painful memories.”

Part of being a witcher was painful memories. “Don’t worry about it.” 

Jaskier switched to safer topics, lighter ones, and Eskel was grateful. They went through their weight sets, and moved onto cardio together. Although it was harder to maintain a conversation on the treadmill, Jaskier seemed determined. 

It had been a long time since Eskel had someone so eager to make friendly conversation with him. Usually when it happened, it was someone trying to get into his pants. While Jaskier sometimes smelled a little like lust, and Eskel had noticed his eyes lingering a little too long to be polite, Jaskier also hadn’t made any moves. 

Eskel hadn’t had a partner since he adopted Aleks. It was complicated to have anything romantic going on while living with your best friend and raising a child with them. People didn’t know how to deal with that. His family came first, and anyone who couldn’t get on board wasn’t worth his time. 

Of course, he missed the intimacy, but not enough to pursue it. Part of him wished Jaskier would show a little more interest, but mostly he was happy to just have someone who looked like they might become a friend. 

Jaskier talked about playing the guitar, some anecdote of being booed off stage when he’d been drunk. 

“Do you play other instruments, other than the guitar?” 

“Not really, I’ve dabbled but never really got good.” Jaskier lowered the incline on his treadmill. “I mean, I’m probably not that good at the guitar anymore either. I thought about—” he paused, panting. “Thought about teaching kids to play or something for some—some extra cash.” He stopped his machine, and slowed to a stop. He drank from his water bottle like he was going to die if he didn’t down it immediately. 

Eskel reached over and tipped the bottom down. “Don’t chug it! You’ll end up with cramps.” 

Jaskier whined, and Eskel was _not_ going to be thinking of that sound later. 

“Why just thinking about teaching kids?” Eskel asked. “I’m sure you’d do great.” 

“Like I said, I’m probably not that good anymore. It’s been a while since I even played. Years. I’m rusty, I feel like I have to reteach myself. I have a friend who did it on the side and some parents are cut throat. I’ve never taught someone else before.” Jaskier’s eyes looked far away, his scent pained. 

“Could you teach me?” Eskel asked. 

“You?” Blue eyes wide with surprise. 

“I always wanted to learn.” Eskel’s machine automatically went into the cooldown phase, and he adjusted his stride. “Music isn’t something a witcher needs to learn, so it isn’t taught.” 

Jaskier’s eyes were pitying. “I’d love to teach you. I don’t have a second guitar, you’ll have to give me time to find one.” 

“I’ll bring one.” 

“You have one?” 

“Well, no, but if I’m to learn, I should have one.” Eskel’s machine came to a stop. “How much are classes?”

“Oh no, they’re on the house. I might be the worst teacher ever. I’m not sure I remember a single thing—”

“You do,” Eskel insisted. “You speak of music with such passion. You might have put it down for a while, but it’ll be there when you return. Old habits die hard.” 

“We will see.” Jaskier had his phone on him, mostly for his music, but Eskel had noticed the way Jaskier had muted it the moment they joined. “Want to give me your number, we can figure out when our schedules match up?” 

“Sounds good.” Eskel punched in his information, and his watch beeped. “I need to get going. I look forward to hearing from you.” 

Jaskier gave him a nod and a smile. “Take care.”

“You too.” 


	4. Chapter 4

Jaskier sat on the foot of the bed with his guitar in hand. He’d tuned it, played through a few chords, but got stuck staring at the suitcase still untouched in his closet. Things he couldn’t get rid of, but nor could he touch. 

“Keep it easy,” he muttered to himself. It had been a long time, and teaching would mean keeping things basic for those who’d never touched an instrument before. Like Eskel. His heart ached at the thought of never having a choice to pursue an art, for those of his school to have decided such things unnecessary. Music, for a long time, had been one of Jaskier’s greatest joys, it had soothed his anxieties, and brought good people into his life. He’d started to make a name for himself when—

_Don’t think about it._

Easy songs. He went to the old classic standby of ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.’ He played through the notes on the A string, each one hitting him with a growing agony. 

The nursery walls were a soft green, it matched the sheets in the dark oak crib. ' _Then the traveller in the dark, thanks you for your tiny spark—'  
_

The weight in his arms familiar, the little body warm and sleepy. ' _He could not see which way to go, if you did not twinkle so.'_

He sang as he lowered his son into the crib. ' _Twinkle, twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are!'_

He’d smiled down upon his son, brushing some of his white blonde hair further from those blue eyes that blinked slowly as he succumbed to sleep. Palms up, Jaskier saw the little heart-shaped mulberry birthmark on his palm. “Good night, Silas, I love you.” 

Jaskier’s chest felt ready to cave in at the memory, and he fought with the guitar, struggling with the stupid strap until the instrument hit the floor with a clunk-twang. 

It wasn’t the only memory music dug up. No, not just singing and playing for his young son, but playing for Evelyn De Stael. He’d been in over his head, batting out of his league. His family had money and hers made the Pankratz’s look positively middle-classed. 

Heart overruled mind, he’d been ensnared by her smile, her wild spirit. They’d travelled half the world together, made love on beaches, in expensive resorts, in the bathroom on the plane, wherever and whenever she wanted. Their adventurous sex life lead to the pregnancy. While a surprise, they’d both been happy. 

A new house, renovations, christening each room with more of their love. She loved the maternity photoshoot, and the baby showers from her friends all over the world. 

Babies are tiny, messy, needy things. And she hadn’t liked that at all. 

Jaskier thought she’d come around. Until then, he’d picked up the slack, doted on their son. He hadn’t considered fatherhood, but once he found himself in the thick of it, he loved every second. Evelyn went back to her life as usual, and no longer did his world revolve around her, but around Silas. 

He remembered being taken aback by her fury. Looking back, he hadn’t been paying her any attention, she’d been away half the time, and he’d been too tired to keep up. 

Eight months, that’s how long the fuse burned. 

And when the bomb that was Evelyn De Stael ignited, it burned his whole world to the ground. 

A couple drops of blood in the hall, testing showing the relation to Jaskier—his son’s blood. Police. Private investigators. 

Dead ends. 

Evelyn De Stael went missing as if she never existed in the first place, gone to places he couldn’t hope to follow. Her best friend, Sabrina, a sorceress capable of portalling anywhere she’d ever been before. 

Evelyn had returned once, months into the search, while he’d been so deep into the bottle he couldn’t be sure she was real or not. “He’s gone, we can go back to being us, doing whatever whenever we please.”

“You bitch!” He’d grabbed the lapels of her designer jacket. “Where is my son!”

Magic set his ever nerve ending on fire, physical pain beyond what he’d ever experienced. He came to sweating and trembling on the floor. Sabrina stood beside Evelyn, they were both strikingly beautiful and horrifying.

“We could have been so beautiful, Julian,” she murmured, sitting in the chair he’d once occupied, drinking his bourbon. She tapped his chin with the toe of her stiletto, and he was too weak to even turn away. “He ruined you, I did you a favour. You should thank me.” 

“Please,” he begged. “Please just give me back my son.” 

She swallowed the rest of the drink, and set the heavy glass down. “He’s surely dead by now.”

Jaskier sobbed. “No, no, please—”

“He ruined you, ruined us. You pained me with your lack of affections, now you too will suffer.” 

He’d felt the power that came with Sabrina conjuring a portal, but he hadn’t the ability to get up nor give chase. He hadn’t been able to do anything but suffer the affects of Sabrina’s magic, and grieve what he’d lost.

And now, nothing more than a children’s song brought it all rushing back with stunning clarity. He crawled over to the closet, and unzipped the final suitcase. Nearly blinded by tears, he felt for and found the teddy bear that had been his sons and held it close to his chest. 

°°° 

Jaskier called in sick to his very annoyed boss who made it clear he was on thin ice. He spent a good portion of the morning throwing up the alcohol he’d indulged in the night before. The hangover left him nauseous all morning, and the headache clung even longer. 

In the afternoon, he finally braved his bedroom again. He put the guitar back in its case after a brief inspection, ensuring he hadn’t damaged it. The teddy bear was in the mess of blankets as he’d slept with it cradled to his chest like if he’d just held on tight enough—

He picked it up, and gently laid it back down in the suitcase. He didn’t dare linger, couldn’t handle looking at the other items inside. He zipped the case back up, stored the guitar case in with it, and shut the closet doors. 

There was no way that he could play. No chance of him teaching children, nor Eskel. How could he when _Twinkle Twinkle Little Star_ sent him into a downward spiral?

He liked Eskel. In private, he could admit that to himself. Eskel was strong but kind, dangerous but sweet. Jaskier’s eyes had lingered longer than they should. How could anyone resist? Those broad shoulders, muscled arms—hell even his back left Jaskier drooling. He’d lost count of reps watching Eskel in the mirrors. The scars on his face did nothing to detract from his handsomeness. Golden eyes otherworldly and beautiful. 

Jaskier could also admit to himself he’d happily go to bed with Eskel. He’d given all too much consideration to what kind of lover Eskel would be shortly after meeting him. Touched himself to the thought of Eskel’s eyes watching him, to the thought of those hands roaming his body. He bet they were calloused, and he’d spent enough time staring to know without question they were thicker than his own. They’d feel so good. 

But he didn’t want Eskel to fall victim to his old habits. He didn’t want to do it drunk. Didn’t want to leave in the middle of the night, and never see the person again. 

With Eskel it wouldn’t be a temporary escape, it wouldn’t be a moment of pleasure amidst the pain that was his life. Jaskier wasn’t ready for something more. He couldn’t give his heart to another, he wasn’t even sure he had enough pieces of it left to give. 

For now, Eskel could be a friend, nothing more. Jaskier still couldn’t play the guitar though, couldn’t teach anyone. 

Eskel’s name in his contacts made his heart beat faster. What Jaskier wanted, he couldn’t have. He texted Eskel to cancel their plans, feigning illness rather than explaining. 

He wanted another drink. 

°°°

It was weeks before Eskel saw Jaskier at the gym again. Text messages of concern had been replied in short, or with emojis. Eskel hadn’t been sure what to make of it. The sight of Jaskier walking toward the treadmills where Eskel already was twenty minutes into his workout settled the worries he’d had. Jaskier looked good in a dark drop armhole tank, and grey joggers. 

He raised a hand in greeting. “Feeling better, I hope.” 

Jaskier stopped and looked up at him on the treadmill. He glanced to the free one beside it. “Yeah, I’m doing a lot better.” 

It took Jaskier longer than usual to join on the machine next to him, his response more stand-offish than his usual open demeanor. Something had changed. Eskel slowed his machine down, he could take a hint. Jaskier didn’t want to outright cut ties, but Eskel didn’t need to read the fine print when Jaskier practically had it on a billboard for anyone to see his discomfort. 

He stepped off his machine distracted immediately by the woman he saw come through the doors of the gym. Her violet eyes found him right away, and she wasn’t alone. 

Silas let go of Yennefer’s hand and ran over. “Daddy!” 

Eskel crouched to grab Aleks under his arms, and threw him up in the air and caught him. Aleks shrieked with laughter, and hugged Eskel as he settled on his hip. Eskel looked from his son to Yennefer. “Now, what are you doing here?” 

“Sorry, Kel,” Yennefer said, having gained the attention of every man and most of the women in the room. “Work thing came up, all our usual victims are busy.” 

“Guess I’ll just have to cut out early,” Eskel said easily. He studied Yennefer’s stance, nothing out of the ordinary, none of her nervous tics. His mind quieted, nothing Brotherhood related then. “Will you be home for dinner?” 

“I’m not sure,” she admitted. “But I need to be going.” She stepped in close enough to kiss Aleks on the cheek, leaving behind a pink lipstick print. “I love you.” 

“Love you, Mama! Buh-bye!” 

She wore a smile as she left them. Eskel shifted Aleks a bit higher on his hip, his thumb rubbed the lipstick print Yennefer left behind but only succeeded in smudging it. “We have time to go to the park before dinner, what do you think?” 

“Yes!” 

Eskel walked between the machines, needing to get his gym bag from the locker before leaving but noticed Jaskier’s attention on them. He stared with wide eyes, his machine paused. Eskel didn’t talk about his family, it was complicated, and he could never be certain who might use it against him. 

It didn’t matter now. Jaskier had made it quite clear that he wanted some distance between them. Still, it felt rude to just walk off, so he gave a bit of a wave. Jaskier offered a soft smile, and raised his hand in return. 

Aleks raised his hand. “Buh-bye!” 

Jaskier paled a little, and turned away from them. 

Part of Eskel wanted to check on Jaskier, but Aleks demanded his attention, hands on Eskel’s cheeks. “Park! We go on slide?”

“Sure.”

“The park with the pirate ship?”

“If you like.”

“Yes!” 

When he looked back, Jaskier had already crossed the gym to the weights. Without words, Jaskier had said enough. The ache in Eskel’s heart was familiar. Jaskier wasn’t the first to turn away from him, and wouldn’t be the last.

°°°

As a millennial, Jaskier was adverse to having phone conversations, but the moment he left the gym, he was holding his phone to his ear, praying that Priscilla would answer. 

“Jask? Hey, you okay?”

Of course she’d think something was wrong since he was calling, and their relationship had been a little shaky since he’d moved. “I need to talk to you.”

“About what?”

He stopped walking and leaned back against the brick wall of the gym. “I saw a child and… he looks like he would be the same age as Silas, and he waved and he has the birthmark.” 

Priscilla sighed. “Jask—”

“It’s in the exact spot!”

“It could have been jam for all you know! Please tell me you didn’t approach this kid!”

“No, but his father—”

“You did not accuse some parent of—”

“Just listen!” he shouted, gaining some looks of people in the parking lot. 

“No you listen,” Priscilla snapped. “I love you, and I wish that you could have your son back again, but he’s gone, and you need to let him go.” 

“He’s not gone,” Jaskier whispered. He knew what he saw, what were the odds that another child would have an identical birthmark in the exact spot? For the first time in years, he felt hope. 

“Jask—”

“I need to go,” he said and hung up on her. 

With shaking hands, he texted Eskel.

Jaskier: I’m sorry for my behaviour. My last relationship left me shaken and untrusting. I apologize for letting that get in the way of our friendship, I really do want to be friends. Coffee sometime? 

He’d chewed his thumbnail right down to the skin by the time Eskel replied. 

Eskel: Coffee sounds good.

Something loosened in Jaskier’s chest. He shouldered his gym bag, and started the walk home. 


	5. Chapter 5

Yennefer took one look at Eskel when he walked into the living room, and arched a brow. 

Eskel sighed. “What?”

“You’re wearing that?”

“I’m going for coffee with a friend it’s—”

“Not a date,” she cut him off, and clicked her tongue. “As you’ve said. Yet, I know you dress better than this. This—’ she waved a hand at his entire being, “—is a cry for help… or it’s armour.” 

“It’s a t-shirt and jeans.”

“It’s a black t-shirt and jeans and it makes you look like you’re going on a hunt, and you want something that will—” she glanced over at Aleks who was still playing with his blocks. She lowered her voice for the rest, “—hide the blood and gore that comes with your line of work.” 

“Yenna—”

The battle already lost. She just grabbed his wrist, dragged him back to his room and raided his closet. “It’s cool today.” She seemed to know exactly what she was looking for. “Here, this.” She threw a burgundy sweatshirt at him. 

He rolled his eyes, stripped off the t-shirt and pulled on the sweatshirt that clung to his muscles and had a v-neck deep enough it gave a hint of his medallion. “Do I pass inspection now, ma’am?” 

“You’re welcome,” she replied with the same heavy sarcasm. 

They both left the room, and Aleks stopped playing for a moment. “You’re leaving?”

“I’m just going to see a friend for a little while.” 

“And we are going to visit Triss,” Yennefer told Aleks. “She needs our help to make cupcakes.”

“Ooh! Chocolate ones?”

“Yes.”

Aleks smiled. “Okay, bye dad!” 

“Bye, buddy.” He left through the garage, grabbing his leather coat, and keys to his motorcycle along the way. 

He followed navigation to the coffee shop that Jaskier had picked. It wasn’t the one he worked at, but a generic corporate coffee chain. It felt like an odd choice for Jaskier. He parked half a block away, and walked the rest of the distance. 

The coffee shop played low acoustic music. Screens displayed the menu in a chalkboard style font. There were a few chairs by a little electric fireplace that had been taken over by a group of teenage girls. In the corner sat an elderly man reading the newspaper. Three business people on tablets in some kind of meeting. No sign of Jaskier. 

He checked his watch—only a few minutes early. The line barely moved before the door opened, and Jaskier walked in. 

There were dark circles under Jaskier’s eyes, his hair a little more wild than his usual well-kept style. The dark jeans hugged his legs, but somehow the loud patterned shirt with an offensive mix of colours still stole the show—or would have, Eskel’s attention couldn’t settle, not with how many buttons Jaskier left undone, the hair on his chest on display. It shouldn’t work, none of the outfit should work but Jaskier defied the laws of fashion. 

Jaskier’s eyes met his, and he was slow to walk over to join him in line. “Hey.”

“Hi.” 

“Thanks for coming,” Jaskier said, all nervous energy. “I know I wasn’t… myself at the gym—”

“It’s okay.” 

Jaskier sighed, but said nothing more as they waited for the one person ahead of them to get their order. 

“I’m buying,” Eskel said. _That didn’t mean it was a date._ “Order whatever you want.” 

“I can get my own,” Jaskier said. 

“I don’t doubt it, but I insist.” Eskel stepped up to order, and Jaskier trailed a step behind. 

They got their order and found a place to sit in the back corner. Eskel preferred having his back to the wall, and being able to see the entrance. Jaskier stared into the fruit iced tea that was a bold pink in colour with little blackberries and ice floating at the top. Eskel sipped his americano. 

“So, you have a son.” 

It wasn’t where Eskel imagined the conversation going. “I do.” 

“How old is he?” 

“Five,” Eskel replied. “His name is Aleks.” 

“That’s a nice name,” Jaskier said, but he was paying more attention to his drink than Eskel. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I just didn’t expect you to be a father.” 

“You and me both. It’s a long story, but he’s… everything.” Eskel couldn’t help it, once he started he couldn’t stop. He told Jaskier funny little stories hoping to make Jaskier laugh, sometimes it worked, Jaskier certainly paid more attention, but that dark cloud over his head never really left. 

In the text, Jaskier had mentioned a previous partner. Whoever they were, they’d certainly done a number on him. Eskel wondered if somehow that ex had managed to weasel back into his life. “Jaskier, are you alright?” 

“I’m fine,” he replied, a forced smile on his face. 

“Why did you move all the way across the country?” Eskel asked, fearing that the reason might have been to escape the ex. 

Jaskier wiggled the straw around, knocking the berries into the ice. “I needed a fresh start.” He frowned. “I worked for a friend, and she fired me.” 

“Not much of a friend,” Eskel said. 

“No, no, she’s the best, and I…” he trailed off. He pulled the straw out just enough that he could stab the ice cubes. “I fucked up and took advantage of her kindness for years because I was too deep in my shit to see anything else. She gave me a much needed kick in the ass. I didn’t have anything but memories and ghosts holding me there, thought maybe… maybe I’d be better off away from it all. Can we talk about something else now?”

Jaskier looked so horribly vulnerable, and Eskel nodded. “Anything. What do you want to talk about?” 

“You have a wife.” Jaskier said, and Eskel couldn’t help it, he burst out laughing. Jaskier looked confused, but a bit of a smile came through it. “What’s so funny?” 

“You think Yenna is my wife, I mean, you’re not the first to come to the wrong conclusion, but it never stops being funny.” 

“You asked if she’d be home for dinner. I heard you.” 

Eskel took a sip of his americano. “Yes, we live together, but we’re just friends. We were roommates when I claimed the ‘law of surprise,’ it’s how we ended up with Aleks—”

“You just stole someone’s child!” 

Eskel leaned back at the accusation, the very loud accusation. Everyone in the shop was paying attention to them. “No,” he said loud but calm. “That isn’t how the ‘law of surprise’ works—” he tried to explain but Jaskier was already out of his seat, his drink abandoned. Other patrons whispered when he rushed out. 

Eskel didn’t move, his heart raced, and embarrassment warred with rage at the accusation. He left his drink, walked out but failed to block the whispers.

_’Witchers are worse than monsters.’_   
_‘—napped a child—’_   
_‘Look at his face—’_

The door slammed into the wall with the force he’d used to open it. He wanted to go home, wanted to be with his family again. They could ease the ache in his heart, the one that said he was unworthy, a monster. Jaskier’s outburst had been unexpected, at some point, he’d grown to both like and trust the other man. A mistake, a painful mistake. 

°°°

  
Rage fueled Jaskier. This man had his son! Given Sabrina’s unflinching loyalty (she loved Evelyn—as caught up in her orbit as Jaskier had been) and ability to portal, disposing of the child in a different part of the country was child’s play. 

Eskel had hinted at the fact that his ‘Yenna’ was a sorceress, even if he hadn’t, Jaskier hadn’t missed the unearthly beauty, the violet eyes. Maybe Sabrina had just given Silas a small cut, enough for the blood evidence in the house, enough to weave her lie. And then what? She sold the child to another sorceress? Those tricky bitches—

“Woah, watch it,” Cerys said, nearly dropping the basket of food she had on her hip. 

He hadn’t been paying attention as he stormed through the lobby. The rage still sizzled under his skin, making him hot with it. A witcher had his son. So many people said that witchers kidnapped children to put through trials, of course the trials stopped after The Fall, but maybe they were restarting. 

No! Not his son! Not his Silas! 

He jammed the close button on the elevator once he was in it, ignoring Cerys’ order to wait, and then her curse. 

A witcher and a sorceress had his son! 

The moment the elevator doors opened he rushed to his apartment. Priscilla would be angry, she’d think he was wrong, but he called her anyway. 

“Hello.”

“I need you to hear me out—”

“Jaskier,” she said his name like a warning. 

“Please, Pris, if you think I’m wrong I’ll—” well he certainly wouldn’t just drop it, but he wouldn’t bother her with it again. “Just listen, please?” 

He heard her sigh, and it crackled the line. “Fine.” 

And so he told her everything, told her about the gym, the wave when he saw the birthmark, the fact that the child had been claimed with ‘law of surprise’ by a witcher who lived with a sorceress and they were raising his son. 

Jaskier chewed on the side of his thumb. “The fact that this child was claimed—”

“Law of surprise doesn’t work like that,” Priscilla said. “The child must be orphaned with no family. Although, in older times, some families gave up like a fourth born son or something to the witchers, but that obviously doesn’t apply here.” 

“I’m alive, obviously.” 

“I don’t know what that means for you legally—”

“So you believe me?” 

“I don’t know,” she said softly. “I want to, and I know you’ve got this in your head and your heart so there is no stopping you from seeing this through. Since it is a case of ‘law of surprise’ and you, the biological father, are alive, and nor did you abandon your child, something you can prove with all the police reports and private investigator fees, you have a case… after they do tests to ensure this is actually your child. You should get in contact with a mediator, someone who deals with the laws between both the magical world and the mundane.” 

He nodded along. “Yes, a mediator.” He needed someone smarter, someone who knew the workings of these laws. If he had to actually use the account his parents had for him, his pride be damned, he would. 

“Thank you.” 

“Just… let me know how it goes.” 

Jaskier hung up, and immediately started to search for the best mediator in the city. On the top of every list he found was one partnership—Vengerburg and Merigold.

°°°

It took a full week to get an appointment with the mediator. In that time it felt like bugs crawled under Jaskier’s skin. He barely ate, couldn’t sleep, got by with more caffeine, but had dumped the remainder of his alcohol down the sink. No dangerous crutches. He’d be sober. They weren’t going to find anything to use against him. He would get his son back. 

He showered early, downed two cups of coffee, dressed in a dark suit that spoke both of money and power. He took a good look at himself in the bathroom mirror, not a hair out of place. 

He took a cab to the building that held four offices on different floors. He checked the board in the lobby. Vengerburg and Merigold were on the second floor. He took the stairs, and straightened his tie at the top. 

One long exhale, and he pushed open the door. The receptionist smiled at him. “Hello, how can I help you today?”

“I have an appointment, the name is Jaskier Pankratz.” 

“Ah yes, Miss Merigold’s ten o’clock.” She checked a few things on her computer, then stood. “Please, follow me.” 

He followed her to the office. “Triss, this is Jaskier Pankratz, consultation.” 

Triss looked up from a quite literal mountain of paperwork. She was a striking beauty with dark red hair worn in a perfectly tousled high bun, and an ensemble that put ‘power’ into power suit. She stood and reached out her hand, he shook it. “Mr. Pankratz, pleasure to meet you, please have a seat.” 

He sat taking in the strange energy of the room, but he couldn’t pin it down. If she mediated between worlds though, it shouldn’t have been so surprising. 

“Now, what is it that I can do for you?” 

He liked her immediately, a ray of sunshine to cut through the gloom. “Look, I’m aware that this is a long shot, but I know what I saw—” He tried his best to stay professional, to not sound like a grieving father latching onto something so small, but he couldn’t help but notice her light dim as he spoke. He swallowed hard. “You’re going to tell me there is nothing you can do.” 

“It’s a conflict of interest,” Triss said, unable to meet his eyes. “My business partner is Yennefer Vengerburg.” 

What were the odds? His best chance at having the issue looked into, the best chance at getting his son back, gone. Just like that. He muttered through something like ‘thank you for your time’ and left, walked out the door in a daze. 

Down the hall he saw her. Yennefer in a black and white suit, strong, put together, clearly a woman with money and power. The taste of bile hit the back of his throat—he couldn’t fight someone like that. 

When he returned home, he did so more broken than before. 

°°°

Pink Gold Peach drifted around the corner and launched a red shell. Eskel cursed as King Boo was nailed.

Yennefer laughed as her character passed. “Shouldn’t have bombed me on that last lap.” 

He leaned forward a bit, fully focussed on catching up. There were two racers between them, and one more lap. He could still win. Their overall points were close, and with only a few more races in their 16 round game every point would be necessary. 

Three red shells appeared around King Boo. “Oh, you’re fucked.” 

Eskel loved nights like these. No work. Aleks safe and sleeping. Getting to spend some time with his best friend, a bottle of wine split between them as well as a bag of chips. Yennefer leaned into him a little as she jerked her controller when she took a corner and he couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Yen, you know that controller doesn’t have motion controls.” 

“I’ll show you motion control,” she muttered drifting around a corner only to be taken out by his red shell. 

“You prick!” 

A knock on the door startled them both. Yennefer’s magic flared. “It’s Triss,” she said, continuing their match. With just flicking her finger, he heard the deadbolt slide. “Hey,” she called out in greeting.

“Hello,” Triss replied. 

Eskel remained utterly focussed on the game knowing that any distraction would have Yennefer catching up. 

Triss walked into the room. “We need to talk.”

“Mhmm.” Yennefer threw a bomb. Eskel cursed as it exploded and King Boo spun out. 

Before Yennefer could capitalize, Triss walked in front of the television, blocking their view, and then turned it off. “I said we need to talk.” At the hardening of tone, they both looked up at her. 

“What’s wrong?” Eskel asked. “Are you okay?” 

Triss topped up both Eskel and Yennefer’s glasses of wine, and then took a swig of it straight from the bottle. “I think I met Aleks’ biological father today.” 

Eskel understood all the words individually, but his mind refused them all together. His heart raced, panic hit him harder than it had during any hunt. The thought that he might lose his son left him untethered. “Could they take him?” 

“We don’t even know if this man is the biological father,” Yennefer said, tossing her controller onto the coffee table. “Who is he? Is he just claiming this because he knows that witchers and sorceresses can’t have children of their own? There is nothing—”

“The birthmark,” Triss said, pointing to her palm, just below her thumb. “He saw the birthmark, same one as his son.” 

“That proves nothing,” Yennefer grabbed her glass of wine, but didn’t drink.

Eskel ran his hands down his face, forced himself to remain sitting when every instinct told him to go and grab his son, hold him and keep him safe. 

“We found him.” Yennefer stood and begun pacing the room. 

Triss sighed. “It was a volatile relationship that led to a kidnapping—”

“We looked for the parents—”

“Here, in New York, yes,” Triss said. “But his ex had a very close friend, a sorceress. No one was looking here, they were looking in California. This child might have been kidnapped by the mother, abandoned by her—but not by the father who desperately wants his son back.” 

“He’s not taking my son,” Yennefer snapped. 

“There’s more,” Triss said. She looked at Eskel. “He knows you.” 

“Me?” 

“Yes. He said his name is Jaskier Pankratz.” 

Suddenly Jaskier’s behaviour shift made a lot of sense, same with the way he blew up at the coffee shop. “We met at the gym a while ago, went for coffee once.” Eskel pinched the bridge of his nose. “He did ask questions about my son.” 

“We’ll fight him,” Yennefer said. She swallowed back a mouthful of wine. “Aleks is ours.” 

Eskel heard a door creak open, and turned toward the noise. Aleks walked down the hall with his soft green blanket in one hand dragging along the floor, and his stuffed dinosaur under the other arm. 

“Hey, buddy,” Eskel said. “What are you doing up.” 

Aleks pouted and joined him on the couch. “You and Mama were too loud, I can’t sleep.” He paused, looking at Triss, but mostly ignoring her in favour of snuggling up against Eskel’s side.

“Sorry.” Eskel touched his lips to the crown of Aleks’ head. “We’ll be more quiet.” For the moment, the conversation halted in its entirety. Triss excused herself to leave. 

Yennefer walked Triss to the door. Eskel heard them talking, then the door closing and the deadbolt sliding into place. Yennefer rejoined them, sat on the couch on the other side of Aleks. Her hand on his arm like she needed to be touching him, reassuring herself that their son was still with them.


	6. Chapter 6

Work seemed meaningless in the grand scheme of things, but Jaskier feared what he’d do if he just stayed in the apartment all day. Probably get drunk, find someone to hook up with on some dating site, and then spend more than he’d make in a day on take-out. The day went by all too slow, and yet he still dreaded going back to his apartment. 

As it turned out, his ghosts could haunt him just fine despite the move across the country. 

He clocked out, waved goodbye to his co-workers, and left with a fresh coffee in hand. 

During the walk home, he considered the cup-of-noodles he had in the cupboard. He didn’t want to cook, and he really shouldn’t order more take-out. Then again, why not drown his feelings in pasta and garlic bread? Comfort carbs. 

Down the street, he saw someone standing outside of the building. He recognized the bulk of the man, the hair, the jacket. Eskel. He threw his coffee into the garbage when he passed. “You! Are you stalking me?” 

“I know Cerys,” Eskel replied in short. “I needed to talk to you, and I needed to do it in person.” 

Jaskier crossed his arms. “Yeah, this isn’t creepy at all.” 

Eskel turned from him, eyes firmly on the building across the street. “Yen isn’t going to let you take Aleks.” 

“You think I don’t know that?” Jaskier’s hands balled into fists. 

Eskel put his hand into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out a piece of paper. He sighed, and held it out for Jaskier. “Law of surprise isn’t applicable.” 

A shiver ran down Jaskier’s spine, and he reached out to take the paper. “What?” 

“The child must be orphaned or abandoned. You just have to prove that you didn’t abandon your child after a DNA test which will also prove he wasn’t orphaned.” 

Jaskier held the paper to his chest, his lifeline to hope. He’d been ready for a fight, and found himself utterly disarmed instead. “Why are you doing this?” 

Eskel looked down to the ground, then to Jaskier. “Because, Yen can and will fight you, and we’ll keep Aleks, but one day he’ll ask about his real parents. How am I supposed to tell him that I knew you? That you looked for him, wanted him, loved him, but that I claimed law of surprise and Yen worked a system and we kept him anyway? Besides, given enough time, you might have found a way to overrule anyway, and then… well I’m guess I’m hoping this will foster a bit of goodwill.” 

Eskel’s golden eyes were shimmering with tears, and Jaskier felt at odds with himself. He wanted to take what Eskel had, and wanted to comfort him in the same breath. 

“I love that kid so much,” Eskel said, voice rougher with emotion. “He’s my little buddy, and I can’t—I can’t fathom what it was like for you to lose him—but I know I’m going to have to feel it because he’s not my blood.” The way he quickly wiped a hand over his face like he could hide the tear that had fallen made Jaskier’s heart ache. “I just hope you’ll let us see him. Yen’s not bad, she’s just… she’s his mom, has been for four years. She doesn’t want to give up on him anymore than I do, but it’s not right to fight it. For obvious reasons, you’re going to need to find another mediator. Talk to Cerys, her girlfriend might be able to help you.” 

Jaskier was shocked into silence, unable to say anything as Eskel left without another word. 

°°°

Outside of 5A, Jaskier worked up the nerve to knock. Looking back, he knew he’d been quite a jerk to Cerys, and now he had to ask for a favour. He could only hope she’d be forgiving. 

He knocked three times and waited. Cerys opened the door, and leaned against the doorway, blocking his view in. “Yes?” 

“I’m sorry about the other day, I was an asshole.” 

Cerys softened, seemed she was the forgiving type. “It’s alright.” 

“I—uh, I need your help with something.”

“Something wrong in your unit?” Cerys asked, looking worried. 

“No, no, nothing like that. It’s a personal issue. Can I come in… it’s a long story.” 

Cerys’ brow furrowed, but she backed up and let him. Her apartment had a bit of a different layout to his, but had the same grey tone walls. She led him to the living room where another woman sat. “This is my girlfriend, Philippa. Pip, this is Jaskier.”

“Hmm, the rude one who closed the elevator on you.” 

_Shit._

“He apologized,” Cerys said.

“You forgive too easily.” Philippa reached out, and Cerys came closer, took her hand as she sat down on the couch with her. The two of them looked good together, comfortable and happy.

“I’ve been told you’re a mediator, Philippa,” Jaskier said. 

Cerys frowned. “By who?”

“Eskel.” 

“You’re friends with the witcher,” Philippa’s brows raised, but her eyes never quite met his. “Interesting. And why might you be in need of my services?”

Once again he found himself laying his past bare. All the vulnerability and embarrassment that came with his inability to have protected that which meant the most to him. By the end, his hands were shaking and he was on the verge of tears. Cerys reached over and held his hand, a sweet comfort. 

Cerys turned to her girlfriend. “Pip?” 

Philippa sighed. “Bleeding heart,” she muttered. “I’ll see what I can do.” 

°°°

Eskel hated fighting with Yennefer. It didn’t happen often, he couldn’t even recall the last time they’d really gone at it. Their words were kept hissed under breath since Aleks was in the living room watching cartoons and they didn’t want to be overheard. 

They’d both received a summoning—and one for Aleks to have his DNA tested. That led Eskel to confessing that he’d spoken with Jaskier, and from then on the hostilities had only risen. 

“Whose side are you on?” she hissed at him, stepping into his space, and he had to ignore the instinct of _danger_ that came with the move. 

“Aleks’.” With that, he left her in the kitchen. 

Their constant fighting wasn’t solving anything. By the end of the week they had to have Aleks’ tests done, and a week after that they’d be expected to be at the offices of one Philippa Eilhart. Eskel just wanted to spend as much time as possible with Aleks—in case Jaskier was right, and this was his son, and he took him, flew him back to the opposite coast.

“Dad?” 

Someday soon, he would be calling another man that. Eskel shoved his own emotions down, determined to stay in the moment. “Yeah, buddy?” 

“Can we go to the park today?” 

“Sure. The one with the big slides, or the pirate ship?” 

“Um… the big slides!” He shifted to look over the back of the couch. “Mama too?” 

Eskel looked over his shoulder, Yennefer behind them wearing a smile that didn’t touch her eyes. “Of course, I’d love to.” 

He prayed to Melitele that this wouldn’t be their final family outing. 

°°°

Once the process was started, it moved fast. Jaskier had sobbed in Philippa’s office when the DNA results had proved that the boy that Eskel and Yennefer had been raising as Aleks was actually his son, Silas. Between police reports, and his statements from private investigators that went on for over a year it was proven that he hadn’t abandoned his child, and eventually, with the small blood evidence in house, had been convinced by the police and Evelyn’s last visit that his son was dead.

Jaskier berated himself, he should have held on tighter, looked harder. 

A part of him was happy that Silas found himself in the arms of two people who really did love him, who cared for him, and kept him safe over the past four years. 

Another part was angry and jealous. Years worth of memories that should be his, years of firsts, and moments that Jaskier would never get back. 

The situation was unprecedented—and had Jaskier, Eskel, and Yennefer sitting on the other side of Philippa’s desk. 

“We all know, that in this case, it has been proven that the law of surprise is not applicable,” Philippa said. “That said, there is a familiarity with Eskel and Yennefer, the majority of the child’s life has been spent in their care. To take him away immediately could be detrimental to his health—it’s my advisement that it’s a process, slow and steady. That said, let me be clear the custody of Silas Pankratz is fully in Jaskier’s hands.” 

The words should have elated him, but he also saw Eskel’s face crumple, the strong man unable to hold back tears. Yennefer’s grip on the chair nearly obliterated it, she stood and stormed out, and after a moment, Eskel followed. 

Philippa gave a little nod, as if the outburst had come right on schedule. “I suppose a break is in order.” 

Jaskier excused himself, and stepped out into the hall. His fingers trembled, and he felt too hot in his suit. Some of what Philippa said settled in as he wandered the halls in search of a bathroom. 

He was taking Silas away from everything he’d ever known. He was taking him away from the people he called mama, and dad. Was it wrong? Would it cause his son mental anguish to be stripped from his family, however slow they ripped the bandage off? Would his son grow to resent him for taking him from his family? 

The win didn’t feel much like one. 

He finally found the men’s room. Eskel was there, hands on the counter like it was the only thing holding him up. It was dizzying to see him, to try and overlap their friendship, the vitriol he’d spat at Eskel in the coffee shop, and the fact that this man had raised his son. 

Neither said anything. 

Jaskier grabbed some paper towel, wet it, and patted his skin. A little cooler, he tossed the paper out. “I’m surprised you’re not with Yennefer.”

Eskel didn’t look at him, didn’t raise his head so Jaskier didn’t even have a reflection to gauge his reaction by. “She needs space.” 

The pain in his voice, the tension there, Jaskier ached for him. It seemed they were all destined for pain. “Are you okay?” It was a dumb question, and he regretted it the moment the words left his mouth. Still, before things got all weird between them, he’d really liked Eskel, he wanted to be his friend—and maybe some of his feelings hadn’t been strictly platonic. 

“What do you want?” Eskel pushed back from the counter. His golden eyes hard and locked onto Jaskier as if he were prey to be taken out. “You already got what you wanted. Custody of Aleks will transfer over to you—”

“I’ve been thinking about what you said before, about how when Silas grows up and—” Jaskier looked away, unable to stand up against the sliver of hope in Eskel’s eyes. “I don’t want to be the man who ripped him away from his mom and dad. He’s grown with you two.” Jaskier was on the verge of tears. Why did doing the right thing have to hurt so bad? “He loves you both so much, how—how am I to just take him from that, even if we did it slow he would still—” Jaskier shook his head. “But I love him, he’s my son, I love him too. Philippa said the situation was unprecedented, maybe we need an unprecedented solution.” 

“Speak clearly,” Eskel said. 

“Maybe we can split custody,” Jaskier said finally meeting Eskel’s eyes again. 

“You can’t bring that up in the office if you don’t mean it,” Eskel said. “You’ll destroy Yenna.” Jaskier caught the way Eskel’s voice broke and knew that it would destroy him too. 

“I don’t know anything about these kinds of laws, but I think Philippa could make it work,” Jaskier said. “Would Yennefer accept that kind of arrangement? I’ve had a sorceress involved in taking my son before—”

“She’d never take him away, well… maybe from you, but no matter how angry she is with me right now, she wouldn’t.” Eskel leaned his hip against the counter, his arms crossed like he needed to be defended. “She’s the one who called me, you know. She’s the one who found Aleks, but didn’t claim him. She didn’t want him to have the same upbringing she had, refused to put him in the hands of the brotherhood. She knew he’d live a much more normal life if I claimed law of surprise instead since all the witcher schools are currently closed. There is nothing she wouldn’t do to keep him safe—and ultimately, she knows that you being in his life is the right thing, even if it hurts.” 

Jaskier took a deep breath, and stood up straight as possible. “Well, we should get back. We have a lot to discuss with Philippa.” He would lay out the option because damn it, despite the years he was still Silas’ father and as much as it hurt, he’d do what was right for his son. 

°°°

The house was beautiful, large, and a little imposing. The gardens were in full bloom, colourful and happy, and one bright blue ball was crushing a few of them, abandoned after play, the only bit of evidence a child lived here. 

Jaskier took a few deep breaths. Philippa had come along to make sure nothing got out of hand, and Cerys had come in support of Jaskier. He was thankful for her hand on his shoulder, pushing him back into action. The three of them made their way down the stone path to the front door which was painted a bold purple. 

“Ready?” Cerys asked. 

“Oh, get on with it,” Philippa said, knocking on the door. 

Yennefer was the one to answer. Her unsettling violet eyes took them in, but settled on Philippa. “Phil, I’d say it’s a pleasure to see you, but I’m told I should lie less.” 

“Fuck you too,” Philippa replied in the same dry manner. 

Jaskier had never figured out if the two hated one another, or were actually very good friends. It was a fine line. He’d have to remember to ask Cerys at some point. 

Yennefer’s gaze settled on Jaskier, he wondered what she saw in him. Regardless, she stepped back to let them into her home. 

They’d made a plan in Philippa’s office. One in which they’d slowly get Aleks’ introduced to Jaskier, first as a friend of his parents, then once he was comfortable, introduce the concepts of adoption, and circumstances, and ultimately the reality of their situation. They’d also agreed in that office to keep his name as Aleks, he’d had it the majority of his life, and it seemed an unnecessary change to make. 

Yennefer looked unsettled in her own home, fussing with things on the kitchen counter. “Do you… want a drink?” 

Part of him worried about being poisoned, but Jaskier thought Yennefer would look calm and cool if that were the case. 

“Water,” he requested, his mouth gone dry with the worry, and mostly he just wanted something to do with his hands. “Uh, where is he?”

“He’s with Eskel, they were in the living room but,” she took a look through the wall cut out. “Must have gone to play in his room.” She opened the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. “Eskel had a rough hunt last night, it inspires rounds of doctor to be played.”

Jaskier hadn’t even thought about the toll of Eskel’s job. He took the offered water bottle with thanks. “But Eskel… he’ll be alright?” 

“Of course, he’s fine. The bruising has mostly cleared up already.” Yennefer motioned for him to follow. The living room had modern furniture, a large television, and a small mess of toys—clearly they cared less for aesthetics, and more for their child’s happiness. 

Laughter hit as they walked down the hallway. Jaskier looked over his shoulder, but Cerys and Philippa had paused in the living room, giving them a moment of privacy for the introduction. Cerys gave him the thumbs up and a smile. 

He followed Yennefer. All of the doors were open, but Jaskier only passed the bathroom before they found the bedroom they were looking for. 

Eskel sat on the floor, his back supported by the foot of the twin sized bed. Over small cuts on his face, Eskel had Pokemon and Paw Patrol Bandaids. 

The child tending to him wore a little white coat, and had a pink plastic stethoscope around his neck. He turned and stared at the newcomers in the doorway. He had a mop of blond hair that curled a little at the ends, wide blue eyes, a cute little nose, and he waved with the hand that had his heart-shaped mulberry birthmark. 

Jaskier raised his hand in return. That was his son. After so many years, that was his little boy, safe and sound. _Alive._

With a Bandaid still sticking to his fingers, Aleks returned his attention to Eskel, putting it over his nose which Jaskier hadn’t actually seen a mark on. “All better!”

“All better,” Eskel agreed with a small smile. “Thank you.” 

“More patients!” Aleks said. He walked over and grabbed Yennefer’s hand and pulled her into the room. Despite all the power and strength she displayed every time that Jaskier had been in a room with her, she followed along, sat down on the bed, careful of her skirt. “What hurts?” 

“Oh, my knee,” Yennefer said pointing. 

Aleks went through his Bandaids and pulled out one with little Charmander faces, and applied it. The pink stethoscope was removed from his shoulders, he put the eartips in, then put the chest-piece against Yennefer’s knee. “You need more ice cream.” 

She pressed her lips into a firm line, but Jaskier could see the mirth in her eyes. “Yes, of course, Doctor. But we need to introduce you to our new friend, remember?” 

“Yeah.” He looked over at Jaskier. “Daddy’s friend.” 

Eskel got to his feet, a little less gracefully than Jaskier expected from the witcher. Maybe he wasn’t as healed as he let on. Eskel ruffled Aleks’ hair. “This is Jaskier, he’s been waiting a long time to meet you.” 

Aleks walked a little closer and stared up at him. “Do you like dinosaurs?” 

“I love dinosaurs,” Jaskier replied although he’d never cared one way or another before that very moment. 

Aleks grinned. “Want to see my triceratops?”

“Absolutely!” 

Aleks took Jaskier’s hand and pulled him over to the toy box, letting go to sort through them all.

“I’m going to deal with our other guests,” Yennefer said, patting Eskel’s arm as she passed. Jaskier stared at Eskel a moment, he couldn’t help but smile at the big strong witcher covered in children’s bandages. Eskel’s responding smile held a touch of sadness. 

“Look!” Aleks said holding up a toy dinosaur. “This one is my favourite!” 

Jaskier sat on the floor, and was piled up with toys as Aleks showed him plastic dinosaurs, stuffed animals, a few random blocks that probably belonged with the piles of other ones in the living room, a doll, some dress-up clothes, toys from well known tv-shows, and others Jaskier had no idea about. 

Aleks stopped, and touched Jaskier’s hand. “You have an ouch.” 

Jaskier looked, the cut was a couple days old, received from a broken mug at work. He’d forgotten all about it, it hadn’t been that deep to begin with. 

Aleks pushed away his stuffed octopus, and grabbed his package of bandages. From it, he pulled out a green one with little Bulbasaur faces, a pattern of smiling, then winking. Aleks’ tongue stuck between his teeth in concentration as he applied it to Jaskier’s hand. “All better?” 

A sudden wave of emotion made his chest tight, and he choked out an, “all better.” 


	7. Chapter 7

Eskel stood still under the pathetic spray of the gym shower. His side still ached a bit from a hunt. He’d been told there had been one endrega warrior spotted by someone on the nature trails on the edge of the city. Turned out to be a nest. 

He’d handled it, but continued to pay the price for the misinformation. Considering the soreness from the hunt, he’d gone easier with training, more cardio and stretching, no weights. 

Tipping his head back to rinse his hair out, and rung out as much of the water as he could before turning the spray off. He grabbed his towel from where it hung on the stall door, and dried off. With the towel around his waist, he left the showers. 

The little nook his locker was in had someone wrestling their shirt overhead. Eskel averted his eyes, and spun the combination lock. 

“Eskel?” At the call of his name, he looked over his shoulder. Free of his shirt was Jaskier. It wasn’t the first time he’d seen Jaskier shirtless, after all, they occasionally ended up in the locker room at the same time. “Hey.” 

“Good to see you.” Eskel had mixed feeling since seeing Jaskier with his son—Jaskier’s son—their— 

“My work shifts have had me for morning-middays, so I’ve been getting here later.” He folded the elaborate shirt that he never took his eyes off of, refusing to even glance in Eskel’s direction. “I admit, I miss working out with you.” 

“Maybe we can when your work schedule changes,” Eskel said. He couldn’t get up earlier considering his late night work, and couldn’t go later when he had Aleks to care for. One day soon, that would change. “Or when…” 

They stood in silence, neither looking at the other. “I want to be friends,” Jaskier said. “I know our situation is profoundly complicated, but I like your company, I miss it.” A half-shrug. “I think things would be easier all around if we found our footing again. And maybe if I found footing at all with Yennefer.” 

Eskel tugged the lock, and slid it out of place. “What are you doing Friday night? As long as there aren’t any emergencies, I’m not working, Yen should be off early. If you’re free, you should come over for dinner.” 

“I’m supposed to be working, but I’m sure I can get the shift changed,” Jaskier said. “One of my co-workers owes me a favour.”

Eskel pulled his gym bag free, and set it down on the bench. “Well, you have my number, let me know.” 

“I will.” 

Eskel dressed for the day, while Jaskier dressed in his workout clothes, they parted with the same unease that had settled between them. 

°°°

Side by side in the kitchen, Eskel and Yennefer worked on preparing dinner. Yennefer had gone overboard, wanting to make something fancy for the main course, not to mention the three appetizers because _’what if he doesn’t like goat cheese stuffed cherry tomatoes?’_

“It’s going to be fine,” Eskel said as he cut up avocado as per Yennefer’s instructions. 

“Forgive me if I don’t trust your judgment right now.” 

“Okay, ouch.” 

Yennefer set her knife down. “You don’t get to play the victim here. You—you blindsided me. You went _to him_. Not to me, you told him about the law of surprise—”

“Yenna—”

“I’m not finished,” she hissed. “You betrayed me, I trusted you. Aleks is _our_ son.” Tears welled in her eyes and she turned away. “I know why you did it, but one day soon he’s going to be taken from our home, and do you really trust that Jaskier is going to be fine with this arrangement—”

“He’s the one who came up with it.” Eskel gave up on his task. “I apologized—”

“I’m not done being hurt over it.” 

“I know, I’m sorry, I am, but… he is our son, but he is also Jaskier’s. We don’t just get to ignore that.” 

“I know,” Yennefer whispered. 

They’d been through this all before, but it never stopped hurting Eskel to know just how deeply he’d hurt Yennefer. They returned to working in silence, and Eskel wondered if he’d irreparably damaged his relationship with her. 

Jaskier arrived a little under an hour later with a bottle of expensive wine in hand which he passed off to Yennefer. “Eskel says you prefer a good red.” 

Yennefer stared at the bottle, then gave Jaskier a small smile. “He’s right, I do. Thank you, this is lovely.” 

“Well whatever you’re making smells wonderful.” 

“Jaskier!” Aleks shouted from the living room as he ran into the kitchen. “You’re here!”

“I am.”

“Come! I’ll show you my castle!” 

“Okay.” Jaskier followed along, and Yennefer and Eskel both stayed in the kitchen, watching through the cutout in the wall. The castle was mostly a circle of blocks with a couple of sections built taller, like towers. 

Eskel stared as Jaskier sat down, and started to help Aleks build with his wooden blocks. Soon, they’d be building a life, father and son, a whole new relationship. Eskel wondered what role he’d have in Aleks’ life then. 

Yennefer wrapped her arm around his, and she leaned against him, her head on his shoulder. That more than anything told Eskel that his relationship with Yennefer would heal, that one day she’d forgive him fully, that even now, still angry, she cared for him, and in her quiet way sought to soothe this ache. 

Dinner went off perfectly, the wine loosened Yennefer up a little. She and Jaskier got on the conversation of fashion designers and Eskel could see a tentative friendship forming. Aleks was less impressed with the fancy meal, but did enjoy eating just the bits of mozzarella from the skewered appetizers, leaving Eskel with the cherry tomato and avocado pieces. 

The night was spent re-purposing the chairs from the dining room to make a blanket fort, the floor lined with pillows collected from both bedrooms and the living room couch. Half of Aleks’ stuffed animals ended up in it with them. Three adults barely had room to sit, and Aleks crawled over them with his favourite book. He pushed it into Jaskier’s hands. “You read!” Then he crawled into Yennefer’s lap, she made a face when his knee dug into her thigh before he settled, able to see the pictures from his new seat. 

Eskel listened to Jaskier read the story. Every character got a new voice, and Aleks was delighted. As the story went on, Aleks leaned more and more against Yennefer. His head settled right under her chin, his eyes fighting the battle against sleep, but ultimately lost. 

Jaskier read a few minutes more, his voice lowering to a whisper until they were all sure he was out for the count. Eskel stood slowly, having to move the blanket ceiling out of the way. 

Yennefer looked so serene with Aleks’ on her lap, her arms around him, keeping him safe and secure. Eskel crouched before her, and with that quiet familiarity of doing this exact thing hundreds of times before, the child passed between them, his head now resting on Eskel’s chest. 

He caught Jaskier staring, a bit of longing in the expression Eskel couldn’t bear. He left them, carried his son to his bedroom, and got him tucked in. A kiss to the temple, Eskel draped the green baby blanket over top, he left, quietly shutting the door. 

In the living room, Jaskier and Yennefer already had the space tidy with the exception of a few of the dining chairs still being in the wrong place. They’d clearly abandoned the task, both sitting on the couch, each with a glass of wine. 

Eskel left them alone, he didn’t need their help to finish cleaning. Besides, he hoped that giving them a bit more time together, but without him would help them solidify a friendship without him being their common denominator. For Aleks’ sake, he hoped they could all come together and be friends. The laughter from the living room gave him a little bit of hope. 

°°°

Jaskier worked up the nerve to text Eskel. No one ever had to know how many times he’d written and deleted the message before finally sending. The fact that Eskel had agreed to meet for coffee after the disastrous coffee shop incident made Jaskier happy and feel awful for his outburst in the same moment. 

They met outside of The Fix, Jaskier had insisted, hoping that Eskel would feel safer knowing that Jaskier wouldn’t make a scene at the place he was currently employed at. 

He’d dressed up a little, wanting to make a good impression, which felt silly. They’d seen each other plenty over the past few months, but their relationship was so unsteady, and every interaction felt _important_. A part of him wondered if he’d be stood up, but from his spot at the table by the window, he saw Eskel approach, and then enter. Jaskier jumped up out of his seat, nearly tripping over his own feet. 

Eskel wore a t-shirt that showed off his muscles, and a number of scars that made Jaskier increasingly curious about Eskel’s job, not to mention worried. How frequently did Eskel’s calling get him hurt? What affect had that had on Aleks? Eskel smiled. “What do you recommend?” 

“Well, I know you got an americano last time, and they’re pretty good here. It’s getting a little warmer though, if you’d prefer something iced can’t go wrong with the classic of an iced coffee, if you’re looking for something sweet, go with the iced green tea lemonade. Personally, I have a current obsession with iced chai lattes.” 

Ultimately they both ended up with an iced chai latte, and decided to take a walk since The Fix started to get the influx of the lunch crowd. The conversation felt easy enough, small talk that didn’t go for the soft spots in their armour. They both had different theories on a television show they both watched and argued out their expectations for the third season. 

They walked into a park, strolling along the paved paths. The mid-day sun was hotter than Jaskier expected, and he shoved up the sleeves of his shirt to his elbows wishing he’d worn something lighter. He sipped on his drink as the conversation went into the music on the show which Eskel enjoyed, but Jaskier argued lighter, slower songs with less guitar would be better fitting for the overall mood. 

“Have you been practicing?” Eskel asked. 

Jaskier understood, the guitar he’d once offered to teach Eskel. “No. Life has been…” he trailed off, there really wasn’t a word for the level of upheavel they’d been through. Eskel nodded, he understood without the words, and Jaskier was grateful. “Maybe soon.” For the first time in years the thought didn’t frighten him. 

“Next time you come over, you should bring your guitar. I’m sure Aleks would love to hear you play.” 

“I used to sing to him,” Jaskier said. “Used to play for him too, and then it just became too painful to play with him gone.” 

“I know it’s not worth much, but I’m sorry for everything you went through.” 

Jaskier bumped his shoulder against Eskel’s. “It’s worth more than you might think.” 

The conversation drifted easily after that, Eskel told Jaskier humourous anecdotes of his youth with the men he thought of as brothers. Jaskier’s heart ached at the little glimpses beyond the fortress walls of Kaer Morhen, each story somehow laced with heartbreak Eskel didn’t even seem to see. 

In return, Jaskier told Eskel a bit about Priscilla, and some of their travelling adventures. He even had a few stories of meeting famous musicians, although Eskel only knew one of them. 

Eskel’s phone chimed, and he pulled it from his pocket only to frown at the screen. 

“Is something wrong?” Jaskier asked, worried about Aleks.

“New contract posted,” Eskel said with a frown. “I should probably look into this. Might be nothing, but if it’s something—it’s going to be a problem.”

The vagueness made Jaskier uneasy. “Do you ever work with another?” 

“Not if I don’t have to. Witchers are assigned to different locations, it lets us build our lives, but also ensures too many of us don’t end up living in one area. There wouldn’t be much money to be made if we were all fighting for contracts.” 

“Please, be safe.” 

Eskel smiled, rolled his eyes just a little as he raised a shoulder. “Of course.” 

Jaskier wondered how many times Eskel had to hear that phrase or something similar. The plea for his safety. How many times had he brushed the concern off? “I’ll see you soon,” Eskel assured, and worry settled in Jaskier’s heart as he walked off. 

Later, when Jaskier returned home, he pulled his guitar out of the closet. He’d only opened the case on the night he’d returned from dinner at Eskel and Yennefer’s. He hadn’t played then, but he had stuck the Bulbasaur Bandaid Aleks had given him to it. 

For the first time in a long time his feelings felt like music, and the strings felt like home. Rhythm came first, a beat that welled in his heart. Words stuck on his tongue, the inspiration to compose seemed to have finally smashed through the walls he’d built up, flooding his mind. 

He played until his fingers bled, and composed on paper long after that.


	8. Chapter 8

Spring gave way to summer. In that time, Jaskier spent many afternoons with Eskel, Yennefer, and Aleks. He grew to understand and be part of the beats of their lives. There were nights when Eskel would leave for work, and Aleks would be saddened until Yennefer or Jaskier would distract him by something else. Those nights helped Yennefer and Jaskier build a friendship outside of their relations to Eskel, and the tether that kept their lives together—Aleks. 

As a part of Phillipa’s plan, they were getting closer to explaining things to Aleks, to start transferring time spent to Jaskier. A few nights a week until he had primary custody. 

In preparation, Jaskier had decorated the second room in his apartment. Cerys had helped him paint it a soft green, mirroring the colour of his room at Eskel and Yennefer’s. They built the bed frame—which is to say that Cerys built the bed frame while Jaskier provided coffee and the wrong tools. 

The dresser was delivered, and he’d purchased clothes in the sizes Yennefer had written down for him. There were a number of toys, and he’d spent the better part of two afternoons after work breaking them open, and putting batteries into them. Whoever designed the packaging for children’s toys deserved a one-way ticket to hell. 

There was one toy that was older, the teddy bear Jaskier hadn’t been able to bear getting rid of. He sat down on the side of the little bed with it in hand. How many nights had he spent holding the teddy bear wishing he could be holding his son instead? 

Soon. 

He set it down on the pillow. It wasn’t needed anymore. 

°°°

Dinner wasn’t a new thing for them. Over the course of a few months, the table had gone from seating three to seating four on most nights. This dinner was to be different, and they all knew it. 

Yennefer’s glass was full of water, not wine. Jaskier looked hopeful. And Eskel? His leg wouldn’t stop bouncing, and he could barely eat. 

Aleks was oblivious to the nerves of the adults, talking animately about the cartoon movie he’d watched earlier in the day. Jaskier hung on every word, asked questions, kept him talking. Eskel and Yennefer just kept looking to one another, barely holding it together. 

After dinner the table was cleared, but the dishes were abandoned in favour of entertaining Aleks’ demand for a blanket fort. The chairs were pulled into the living room, blankets were draped from chairs to the couch creating a little tent, pillows were collected and laid upon the floor, toys were tossed inside. 

The three adults had no choice but to sit close together, knees bumping knees, elbows and arms touching. 

Aleks had no problem invading their space, chattering on, showcasing toys and doing funny voices for them all, shifting from one persons lap to another. 

Unsurprisingly, it was Yennefer who took control of the situation. “Aleks, the three of us need to talk to you about something very important,” she said when he’d settled for more than a minute in her lap. 

“What?” He paused holding his stuffed octopus in the air, the legs nearly hitting Eskel in the face. 

Yennefer gently guided that hand down, making the octopus rest in their laps instead. “A long time ago, there was a little boy who was…taken, taken from his daddy who loved him very much.” 

“Like-like when Mother Gothel took Rapunzel?” 

“Yes, like that,” Yennefer agreed. “This evil witch took the baby boy away from his father, who loved him very, very much.” 

Yennefer looked to Jaskier, and Eskel followed her eyes to see Jaskier’s lip quiver. They were sitting so close that Eskel barely had to move to nudge Jaskier’s hand with his own. Jaskier grabbed his hand like it was his lifeline, squeezing tight enough that his nails dug in, yet Eskel didn’t pull away. 

“Why?” Aleks asked. 

“She was jealous because the baby was so sweet, and precious, and cute and got all the attention,” she told him, peppering his face with kisses as she did, leaving purple kiss prints behind. 

He shrieked with laughter. “What happened next, Mama?”

“Well, the bad witch hid the baby so that the daddy couldn’t find him. He looked everywhere—”

“Even under the bed?”

“Even under the bed,” Yennefer replied very seriously. “Under _all_ the beds in all the land, but he couldn’t find the baby.” 

“Where was the baby?” 

“Far-far away, so far away that the daddy couldn’t find his baby. But there were two people who found the baby, and they were the best of friends. They decided to take care of the baby while they looked for the baby’s mommy or daddy, but the friends couldn’t find the baby’s parents anywhere.” 

“Oh no!” 

“And so years passed, and the two friends adopted the baby as their son.” Yennefer ran her fingers through Aleks’ hair. “And they love him so-so-so much.” 

Aleks’ wide blue eyes stared up at her. “To the moon and back?” 

Yennefer’s composure failed a second, and she pulled Aleks into a tight hug, her eyes closing tight. “Yes.” She kissed the crown of his head. “To the moon and back.” She took a deep breath. “One day they found the daddy, for you see, he was still looking all over the lands, travelling to find his lost son.” 

“Then what happened?” 

Yennefer looked ready to break. “The boy would spend more time with the daddy because he’d missed his baby boy so much, but sometimes he would get to see the two people who’d taken care of him over those years.” 

Aleks frowned. “I don’t like this story. There is no dinosaurs.” 

“Aleks, this story is true. You… you’re the baby. You were lost, and I found you, me and Eskel. Jaskier is your father, he’s been looking for you for years.” 

Aleks frowned at her, then looked to Jaskier, then to Eskel. “No! My dad!” he cried, abandoning Yennefer’s lap and launching his body at Eskel, who caught him. “You’re my dad,” he sniffled and cried. 

Eskel’s heart both healed by Aleks outright dismissing that anyone but Eskel could be his dad, and broke in the same moment witnessing Jaskier trying not to cry. 

“Oh honey,” Yennefer’s hand on Alek’s back rubbed circles, occasionally brushing against Eskel’s hands. “It’s okay. You can have two dads. Lots of kids do. You don’t have to pick one or the other. We all love you so much, and Jaskier has been looking for you for so long, he’s been so sad.” 

Aleks sniffled and rubbed his eyes, looked over his shoulder at Jaskier. 

“I kept your teddy bear, the one you loved the most,” Jaskier said softly. “I kept it when I moved here, just in case I found you.” 

Aleks shoved his face against Eskel’s chest, tears wetting his shirt. “Hey now,” Eskel murmured. “It’s okay, we know it’s a big change for you. We’ll take it slow. It’ll be like a sleepover, like when you visit Uncle Geralt and your cousin Ciri. You have your own room and toys at Jaskier’s. You love Jaskier too, I know you do, you always ask when he’s coming for dinner or to play with us.” 

Aleks pouted but nodded. “He’s my friend.” 

“Good, and he can be your dad too.” 

“No! You’re dad!” 

“What if we called Jaskier something else?” Yennefer looked to Jaskier. 

“It’s okay if you just want to call me Jaskier for now, I know these are really big changes.” 

Yennefer shook her head. “What about Papa, hmm? Is that better, that you don’t have to call Jaskier what you call Eskel?” 

Aleks considered it a moment, nodding and wiping snot on Eskel’s shirt. “Hey, that’s gross.” Aleks smiled just a little and did it again. “Oh, you think it’s funny?” 

Despite the tears, Aleks grinned. Yennefer magicked up some tissues and shoved them under Aleks’ nose. “Blow.” 

Cleaned up a little, Aleks studied Jaskier from the safety of Eskel’s lap. He grabbed the stuffed octopus, and left Eskel in favour of sitting on Jaskier’s thigh. “Papa?” he said the word like a test. 

Jaskier’s hopeful eyes widened. “Yes?” 

Aleks held his stare for a moment, before turning to Eskel. “Dad?” Eskel reached out to ruffle his hair, and Alek’s relaxed in Jaskier’s arms. “Can we play with dinosaurs now?” 

“Of course,” Jaskier said, and the boy crawled out of the fort. The sound of his feet running down the hall was the only break in the silence between the three of them. A crash of toys as they were dumped from the toy box but none of them moved. 

The shift began. 

°°°

It took another couple weeks, and a few visits to Jaskier’s apartment before Eskel and Yennefer left him there overnight. Aleks had been pretty excited, Jaskier had promised the latest Disney movie, the new bed and new toys were a good incentive. 

It was good, they were happy. 

Eskel and Yennefer however were in their all too quiet house. Evidence of a child in the toys that were put away into their proper boxes, and a soft green baby blanket in Yennefer’s hands. 

Eskel sighed as he stared at her from the hall. She sat on Aleks’ bed looking as lost as he’d ever seen her. He joined her. 

“I miss him.” 

“He’s safe and happy with Jask.” 

Yennefer nodded. “I know.” She sighed. “How did he do this for four years? We have the advantage of knowing where Aleks is, we know he’s okay, how—how did Jaskier survive the not knowing?”

Eskel’s heart ached for himself, for his own loss, for Yennefer’s. It seemed impossible to make it worse, for there to be more pain, but he knew there would have been had Jaskier not sought this arrangement. He couldn’t fathom the years Jaskier spent believing Aleks to be dead. 

“Do you want to get drunk?” Yennefer asked. “I can beat you at Mario Kart.”

“You do need to drown me in liquor for you to do that,” Eskel said, and she rammed her elbow into his gut—it didn’t hurt. 

They sat in silence for a long time after. 

She sighed heavily, rested her head on his shoulder, and he wrapped an arm around her. “It’s going to be okay, Yenna.” 

“I know it was the right thing to do, but why does it have to hurt so much?” 

He didn’t have an answer, and just tugged her closer. “Come on, let’s get the Switch set up so I can let you win a couple rounds.” 

“Asshole,” she muttered, “I’ll grab the wine.” 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm also on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/DaydreamsGolden)


End file.
